An inconvenient truth.

Why is it, that whenever I think of things I want to do, it's about time I should be doing something else? I have my Waitrose induction tomorrow, so i should really go to bed now, and I have a couple of really busy days coming up. All day i've had to do interesting things, but I remained preoccupied with TV, singing, nothing much else. But suddenly I have inspiration to do lots of new things, ideas are whizzing round my head right now. For example, haircut ideas, Uni accommodation/budget/life/akjhafkhj (got my accommodation confirmed today! Room 3 - got a nice ring to it...), song lyrics (that's a first), tidying my room?! I'm mad, I'm rambling... I think this means I'm stressed. Too many things at the moment are happening. Most of them are exciting new things that I'm happy about, I just can't juggle too many things at once, that's my problem. I try and take things one at a time, but when there's no time left to sort things out, I panic. Also, I'm flat out broke which doesn't help with the stress thing. I'm going to have to borrow some money from my mum tomorrow to get me to work and back, great. At least I'll get paid a bit for the induction. So now I'm a bit less flustered having written down this incoherent ramble...

Yeah, still stressed.

I think I want something inbetween the three... But not as dated as the first, blonde as the second, or as straight as the third. Easy.

Dream a little dream of me

Despite it not being the night before results until today, I had a terrible night's sleep yesterday. I accidentally fell asleep on the sofa from 10-12, so I went to bed after that and couldn't get back to sleep - typical. After about an hour I must have dozed off, only to be woken up by the hoover right outside my bedroom door at 3am... I was so confused and scared that I didn't get out of bed to see what was happening! My brother's excuse this morning was that there was a massive spider in his room. That sounds like something I would do, just not in the middle of the night! Once I got back to sleep, I had some freaky dreams. First, everyone was getting their results (you all did great by the way!) and I was so happy for everyone. Then Laura, Hannah and I were at my house, and I suddenly gasped, having realised that I never collected my own results! So then the three of us were standing on a dual carraigeway, as you do, and this bright yellow car drove right into us. It was kind of dream-like though, not a real crash. We were so outraged and I managed to crush the bonnet of this woman's car out of frustration! I woke up feeling very sad - I didn't have my results. Why hadn't my mum called to say why she wasn't home yet? (She's actually not due back until tomorrow) And why hadn't I rung my Dad like I promised?! Wow. I think I'm crazy. The only upside to horrible dreams is the realisation that they didn't happen when you wake up. Still, I'd rather not go through the trauma in the first place! Apparently the anticipation of getting my results is getting to me more than I thought!

Don't push me 'cause I am close to the edge.

Men are rubbish, just in general.
My mum's away this week and I swear I've done 10 times more housework than my brother, he's so frustrating! Grrr... anyway.

Went to Sam's last night and had fun playing drinking games (ring of fire is a new favourite of mine). But poor Laura who's just had a tonsillectomy wasn't able to drink or be very loud so it wasn't a great evening for her. Hopefully she'll be well enough in a couple of days for results day! Fingers crossed.

I'm getting seriously impatient about results now. I've managed to let it sit at the back of my mind for weeks on end but now that the moment of truth is so close, I'm going crazy. Knowing that my grades are already printed and finalised is very annoying! But I think they're going to be alright, and I hope everyone has a good outcome too. Not looking forward to getting up at 6.30am on Thursday, I think I'm going to go back to sleep when I get back home til my mum gets back at lunch! I'd never survive a night at Liquid if I didn't. Looking forward to champagne toasts (I hope!) and hugs all round...

Last Friday Night ♫♥♪

I've noticed I am desperately lacking in followers... there's nobody out there but Laura appreciating my mediocre ramblings! But that's another problem for another day.

I've had a really great time the past few days; seeing my grandparents, getting along very well with my mum and pursuing a job. The best part of this week was Laura's 18th birthday, but more on that in a minute. I think I already mentioned I applied for a job at Waitrose near Guildford. Well the offered me one! A really great one actually, I'd be a cashier but also a customer service assistant which sounds like a great job to keep up over the next couple of years. The trouble is, getting there from Sunningdale during the holidays is a bitch to be honest. So today I rang up to turn down their very tempting offer, feeling very blue and sorry for myself. But the manager I spoke to told me to ask Sunningdale if I might be able to work there in the holidays, but apparently they've got enough staff as it is. Hmph. So, my only shot at this job is to accept a contract during term time only, which I think I'm going to do! Exciting stuff, I can't wait to start work again, I'm flat out broke!

Enough of the responsibe, sensible talk. At Laura's birthday night out in Reading on Friday I was neither of those things... ahem, let's leave it at that. Laura's my only follower and she knows exactly what I'm talking about so that's all I need to say! That aside included, it was such a fun night; we danced, we drank, we laughed. We went home at 3am with very sore feet! I hope the birthday girl had as good a time as I did.

While my guitar gently weeps...

I'm a happy person today! A few new things keeping me occupied recently, which is good because I was in danger of turning into a recluse this summer.

I've been teaching myself to play the guitar using my brother's old primary school guitar (It still has a sticker with his name on the back!) which is really really fun. It's shocking how many pop songs follow the same chord pattern though, then again it's nice being able to strum away to familiar songs. The only thing I'm not liking about this new found hobby is the fact the my fingers hurt like crazy! I suppose people who play all the time are used to it, but it's really annoying! Anyway, that's been a nice achievement for me this week, and it beats TV.

Sunday was Tom's 18th birthday dinner and it was a lot of fun spending the evening out with my favourite people. It seems as though Tom (and Laura!) have been 17 for sooo long that I can't quite believe he's 18 now and Laura will be on Friday. I'm sure they've been more aware of this long stretch of not-yet-18-ness that I have though. So we had a nice dinner and drinks in the pub garden, then we strolled over to the racecourse to chill out and inevitably, sing. To be fair, we did manage to pull off a nice barbershop-esque version of happy birthday!

By the time George dropped me and four others home (the angel that he is) it was 1am, and I had a job interview the next day... after a terrible night's sleep the alarm went off at 6am and I felt like crying, but I was so scared of being late that I got up and left. I was going to Waitrose in Godalming, which is three train journeys away. The plan is that when I'm at University it'll be much closer. My second train was delayed, meaning I missed the third, so I had to fork out for a taxi to get me there on time! £20 that inerview cost me my mum. But I did get a call back for the next day so I think it was worth it! I had a casual chat with the checkout manager and she seemed really nice, so fingers crossed...

Last thing - I'm so excited about this Friday! It's Laura's 18th so we're going to Reading to christen her adulthood! Still fitting about what to wear and how much my feet are going to hurt wearing my high heels, but it'll be worth it!!!

Regrets?

I'm not sure if I have any regrets or not. You could argue, that if you changed one tiny thing in your past, you wouldn't be where you are now. 'Now' is pretty good as it goes, so from that point of view - no regrets.
On the other hand, there are so many things I wish I had done differently... wow, so many.

I'd have stuck with my driving lessons and passed my test by now, even though I'd still be in debt for the lessons! There's no chance of my getting a car any time soon, but it would've been a nice achievement anyway.
I would've taken music at GCSE (instead of Performing Arts) and stayed in all the choirs, bands etc., that's a big one. I let myself just drift away from the music department at school, even though music is still a huge part of me. Stupid. I also feel a bit cheeky for re-joining all the choirs in the last year of school... better late than never?!
One thing I regret doing (rather than not doing) is taking Physics at A-Level. I think lots of other people made a similar mistake, in that it was easy-ish at GCSE so why not take it for A-Level? Wrong. Physics was horrible, difficult and stupid. Not a good move. I think I would've liked Philosophy and Ethics, or Film Studies maybe.

So today I spent the morning/afternoon doing not much, then I went out with my Mum to have dinner with my grandparents which was nice. Now I'm panicking about this wedding a few of us are singing at tomorrow. The wedding itself doesn't worry me, it's how to get to bloody Reigate! See, this is why I regret the driving thing, because I feel like my friends (Hannah and Laura in particular) end up driving me everywhere. Well if they're reading this, it is much appreciated. And when I'm rich and famous, I will by you each a Porshe or something! Not that my having passed my test would help without a car of my own!
Anyway, the upside of tomorrow is that I get to wear my nice dress which I haven't had an excuse to wear since May Ball!

Measure you life in love

Yesterday was really fun. I come back from Dorset and end up spending the next day with most of the same people again! Laura, Hannah, Alex, Sam and I went to a Cancer Research Relay For Life event at Ascot racecourse to sing. The people taking part literally walk round a track in relay for 24 hours... they're still going! Shame it was tipping it down, but in typical British fashion, everyone was muddling on through.

We sang 'Lean On Me', 'Mama Who Bore Me' and 'Seasons Of Love'. Sam and Alex finished off with '500 Miles'. All in all I think it went really well.

Then we walked round all the tents and stalls and I paid 50p to do the lucky dip, which I don't think I've done since I was about 11! I won a fairy's wand - score. We moved on to Starbucks for coffee, then I spend the rest of the day at Hannah's. We watched Fight Club, which I have wanted to see for absolutely ages, and I loved it. I basically want to be Helena Bonham Carter, she's amazing! Don't know what the fuss about Brad Pitt is by the way?! Too pretty. (Good actor though!)

Hannah's car wouldn't start when she dropped me home, so her Dad had to drive out and jump start the car! Then I watched an hour of Eddie Izzard til 1am, clever. Eventful day!